Reflections have been a real problem for me lately. Whenever things have “gone wrong” in the classroom of late, I have wanted to put it on the back burner entirely. Not mull it over and think it through. I simply have no motivation to fix anything, evident by weeks of dull and prescribed lessons, a frustrated attitude and a lot of “oh no, this isn’t for me” moments.
Since the summer things have been utterly terrible at work. Every day is an uphill struggle against incompetent managers, blame culture, poor classrooms and resources, no CPD or adequate training and students who have been massively let down by education. If I were to jot down everything that was wrong with my current role in my current workplace, I’d be ready to jump in front of a bus.
So enough of that.
I have thought long and hard about the positives. Sadly so far I cannot say my learners are cheering me up and getting me through. I’m finding building rapport difficult with the lack of time and… (arghhhh, no more negatives!). I digress, the positives.
I’m a relatively sane and fair person. I can balance things well usually but thinking of a glowing positive in this mess is difficult. But then I remembered the other stretched members of staff in the GCSE team that are equally as stressed, tired and as angry as myself. I observed another teacher last Tuesday with a very low level group. Despite everything that’s going wrong, she was motivational, kind and facilitated learning in a way that was supportive, yet didn’t patronise.
All of the GCSE team are brilliant. And at the minute they are my motivation to try and better my teaching, to be just as good as them. For they are all fantastic teachers in different ways, whether they are more old school in their approaches….to more modern and madcap….to super organised and methodical…..to creative and nurturing. This includes our overworked admin staff too, who are stretched beyond belief and go above and beyond for our students.
So yes, I just need to remember, my tired and trusted team are my motivation, and a blindingly obvious positive that I overlook every day.